Esther

I hurt Jesus.

What started off as a calefare role in the upcoming drama spin off so many thoughts and feelings in me. Somehow the scene of “Jesus” cowering down under the rain of bottles and angry stares of the mob never really left my mind since afternoon.

At first, i thought, nooooo how can i do this!! He’s Jesus leh. It’s such a huge sin to do it! Then it suddenly dawn on me. The gentle reminding of the Holy Spirit, the slow realisation that I AM one of those who hurled abuse at Jesus, hurt Him, scolded Him, and crucified Him. I already did the huge sin. If there’s anything such as “huge sin” to begin with.

A God, mighty, powerful, magnificient, worshipped by angels, creator, all knowing, all presence, eternal, yet willing submit Himself to the abuse of mere man – one whom He created, created to worship Him. When i thought about these things today, it blew my mind. Why would He do such a thing? Who am I that He would do it? Would i ever be able to comprehend how much the Father must have hurt to allow Jesus to go through this? How would i ever be able to understand what exactly happened at this point in history?

So… in the light of all these thing. Is it really too much for God to ask for my life? For Him to ask me to give up worldly pleasures and pursue Him? He did it…

helllllllllloooooooooooooooooo *echo echo echo* anybody here!? *echo echo echo* *cough cough* all the dust…

I know. I’m sorry. I haven’t been blogging for the longest time. And during the time that I’ve been absent in my blogging. I’m REALLY enjoying school. And that’s like a total under statement.

Forging many friendships, laughing lots, learning much, and starting to miss school already. I was just telling Eufai that I’ve never been so sad on a friday. I’m going to lead my last worship session and say my last devotion. Ah! somebody STOP THE TIME!

Our dean has been telling us day after day, week after week to sieze each day, sieze each moment we have, sieze these last few weeks of school. Because never in our life journey again, will be enter into TLBC and experience what we’ve experienced. And she is SO right. I really want to drink like someone who haven’t drunk for the longest time, eat like I’ve been starving for a year. And just enjoy each moment i have in school. And of course to meet God.

Hopefully, prayerfully, as I leave this place, I wouldn’t be the same person as when i first came in. Desperate to have an encounter with Him. Don’t want to go to bible college but miss God. That’ll be really sad and 可笑.