A few random updates

I”m amazed! i still have visits to my blog even though i haven’t been updating for the longest time..

Well.. that’s because there’s nothing much to update about especially since it’s the working life and there’s nothing really interesting about working everyday. But there have been much changes around. People going and people coming, my job scope being re-defined, and the one hundred other things that are happening at the same time. I haven’t decided whether the job scope re-definition it’s a good thing or not so i shall just wait before i give official comments. For behind the scenes, at the moment feelings, you can ask me personally.

Recently, I’ve been thinking… since i have nothing to do at home, i might as well just stay in the office to finish up my work. So I’ve also been staying back late in the office.. like 7pm, 8pm, 9pm late and reaching office earlier than usual on my own accord, unless i have events to attend after work… And i’m ok with it. I DON’T WANT to be ok with it. This is SO unhealthy. Don’t i have better things to do then finish up my work in the office?

My mp3 is repeating “5 loaves and 2 fishes” for the last… half an hour? It’s THE song for now.

I’M GOING TO PERTH! which is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened this year! I can’t wait for it! I need the break, need the fresh new air that I’m going to breath there. But that’s only going to happen 2 months from now, though i talk about it like it’s going to happen next week. 

This post is so boring… i’m bored writing it and i’m bored reading it..

I need to make some cards.. make something.. do something… get my brain working again..

 

*blank*

Is there a reason why I can be working well (in fact, more than well) for a few weeks and suddenly i feel myself losing momentum and sinking deeper and deeper into dissatisfaction.

Is there a reason why i can be doing and doing and suddenly nothing seems to excite me anymore. I get discontented and everything just fades off into a grey.

Suddenly i don’t feel like doing anything or communicate with anybody at the work place. I don’t drag my feet into the office in the morning but i can’t wait to get out of work at 5.30. All i want to do is to be in a cold aircon room, wear a snug cardigan and bury my head in endless sleep. I think that attitude is evident in my work performance. That’s bad. But I just can’t get myself out of it. It’s a whole stretch of nothingness in the vast yellow sand.

I keep seeking something higher, something more. But i never know whether that dissatisfaction is holy and godly or just a pure complain-y spirit. I seem to be seeking but not knowing what i seek anymore.

I’m too young to be feeling like this. I should be stirred and passionate and motivated. And just burning with excitement and passion with bright hopes, dreams and expectations for the future. How did i EVER come to this stage.

For some strange reason.. i just want to play my guitar and sing. In recent times, i’ve been spotted to randomly start singing. It happened in TL during lectures where i just HAVE to sing the song that is in my head. It happens during meeting when people are engrossed in their discussion and i wander off in my head and the next thing i know everybody’s looking at me because I’m singing a song. It happens during lunch. And now it’s happening at work. I do like the feeling of that though. So i shall not try to stop it.

OOH i just remembered. Usually I would tell my sis about it but since she’s still on the plane to France and uncontactable. I would have to suffice with blogging. I was changing in my room today when SUDDENLY this HUGE lizard landed on the floor. It sounded like a glob of jelly landed SPLAT.. just like that. Followed by a “AH!”. that’s from me. And the lizard scampered up this storage thing that we have. So i left it as that. There’s no point in this, this information is only useful to my sis who lives in the same house and room.

The lizards in my house are huge because they have an unlimited supply of juicy insects to eat. There are probably generations of mosquitoes in my house. Just yesterday after one visit to the toilet, i killed a fat mosquito bursting with blood in my toilet (that’s probably the female, cos the females are the one that suck blood and etc.) then i killed another mosquito.. this one has no blood but it was big. Then later! I killed a small mosquito.. I think they belong to the same family and were going to have a feast on MY blood. See the sumptuous buffet that lizards have when they stay in my house.. They probably invite their whole clan to come feast together.

My body hates work. It breaks down ever so often these days..

It’s only 11.30am!

 

Another Card sold

It is NICE selling items I make, although my stock just keeps growing because my customers tend to want customised cards instead of cards that I’ve pre-made. Hmm.. I guess that’s my selling point..

Maybe i shall sell these unsold cards at a fund raising event or something..

Did i mentioned that this week have been SHIOKwith a capital S, H, I, O and K just lazing around, relaxing at home. Catching up on sleep and things set aside due to the busy work schedule and a tired mind. Yes, a much needed break indeed. I don’t deny that all of these is in God’s perfect timing. So for all the busy ones out there who crave for a break, you should have a wisdom tooth operation! And all the dentists say Yay..
But of course.. an idle mind is the devil’s playground. We humans are crazy.. Everything also cannot. It’s a wonder God doesn’t fling his arms into the air in frustration. And that’s why He’s such a good God.
God help me.

It’s driving class tomorrow, i hope the drowsiness of the painkillers doesn’t kick in when I’m maneuvering the car… People in Ubi look out! Haha or i might skip taking the painkillers tomorrow. Well, i AM in control of a machine that can potentially kill other people and myself.

And i’m really too young to die. I’ve come to realise that.. it is really a blessing to just be alive.. how easily we take things for granted.

 

After a Wisdom Tooth Op

Current Status after the operation:

- 1 wisdom tooth less
- Only porridge and soft food for EVERY MEAL since the Op. Getting sick of it, but it helps to minimise the pain.
- A swollen face that looks like i’m hiding a golf ball in my mouth, or have been punched really badly
- A very caring family
- Plenty of rest, sleep, movies, and a REALLY GOOD BREAK!

There’s actually not much pain. The injections for LA was uncomfortable. And for your information it’s MULTIPLE injections k. nobody told me about that! But it was bearable pain. The op itself is painless. It’s the sounds and the pressure you feel and the mental picture you have on how the dentist would pull out the teeth that scares. But other than that, there is no pain involved. I closed my eyes throughout the op cos i was afriad of what i would see going into my mouth, but it was also weird to see somebody so close looking at you. I only opened my eyes during the stitching stage. I always thought they used a needle! but no leh… it was just string.

And i actually didn’t feel any pain until… yesterday. And even then it’s just aching pain, although it was hard swallowing. And the pain usually occurs at night and after meals. I think a wisdom tooth op is more painless than an extraction. Just for the mere fact that it’s considered a surgery. Although minor, but still a surgery so they give more LA and more painkillers. I haven’t gone through an extraction la, and never want to! but it’s less painful then a trip to the dentist to clean your teeth!

Either that…. or…. my dentist is really good! muahahha

And no… the MC days does NOT mean I’m very free and can do a lot of things.

 

=(

It’s back to work tomorrow…..

 

Need i say more?

 

And there was…

a great exodus to wordpress. Somehow everybody’s blog is in wordpress.. Well done wordpress! i give you 5 stars.. haha

Catching up on much rest this CNY before work starts on Wed and a long 2 months of no break arrives. You see, I never noticed these things, it’s my colleagues at work… anyway.. other than visiting, i’ve been watching a million episodes of Whose line is it anyway on Youtube. It’s soooooooooooooo funny… eh, victor finds it very funny k.. if Victor finds it funny, it IS FUNNY! And yet another addition to overcome and curb. I’ve been laughing so much during this holiday but once the ear phones are off, the atmosphere drops. I guess that’s why people get hooked on TV/drama/etc, because it provides a way out of normal mundane drudgery of life and let you experience other people’s exciting ones.

I recently just recovered (like only on friday) from a mild food poisoning incident (DON’T eat egg sandwich in the afternoon that you bought in the morning) that includes but not limited to fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, nausea and bad body ache. So the doc gave me medicine for diarrhoea and fever/body ache and charcoal, the charcoal’s really effective. Anyway so i just slowly got better and much to my despair, the medicine for diarrhoea was MUCH toooo effective and i ended up with case of constipation. It’s as bad if not worse than diarrhoea in my opinion. Saving the concrete details, I’m very glad to announce that i’m functioning properly now. I happily announced it to my parents yesterday after the guest went home after visiting us and resume eating much too much for my body’s own good.

And to miss charlene lye, i miss you toooo!! your taiwan trip was WAY too long lor..

And so inspired by my missing of charlene, i decided to do this card. hahah it’s in charlene’s favourite colour too..

 

ok la.. i’m selling it la.. at http://cardsncraft.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/missing-you-2/

Oh did i mentioned… due to some misscommunication and so on and so forth, i didn’t pay out salary to one of the staff in my school… it’s one of the reason why i’m dreading to go to work tomorrow. Because it’s much more than just writing a cheque and paying her… besides that 1 million administrative details that have to be settled (like signatories), it also affects my performance at work.

It adds to the careless-ness image that i have at work.. arghh it’s these things that just turns on the pressure at work. and make me all the more upset when i do make a mistake at work that can be attributed to my carelessness even though there are other reasons that plays a part. It’s just that people tend to focus on that ONE thing and label you as that. It’s such a simple word in Primary School when you say 5+8 = 12 and the teacher writes in your report card that you’re careless in maths. But for it to be tied in to your character, it’s really quite bad. Because it carries with it an attitude of i-don’t-care, not attentive to details, not bothered. I’m trying to get rid of that label… quite sticky though, because almost every mistake can be attributed to carelessness.

yet… it’s almost impossible not to make ANY mistake at work. When told to the parents, my mom said that it’s affecting me a lot right now because of my position at work. I basically have no power and I’m in no position to quietly rectify the mistakes i make. That’s why every small problem is being shown to the boss since she’s the only one that can help me with the solution.

 

Er no, it’s ok. You all go first.

Is my script everytime people ask me to go for lunch.

It dawn on me today then i don’t know why i never liked joining anybody for lunch. It hit especially today because the people who invited me for lunch are those that i quite enjoy talking to and i’m hungry. Yet i still say i don’t wanna go lunch. 

My parents did warn me about my tendency to want to lunch out by myself. That it’ll give a wrong impression to my colleagues and by and by they’ll stop asking me out for lunch and i’ll be alone……
Alone alone… all all alone…

So it got me worried. Which is why i suddenly felt the need to have to blog about my feelings regarding lunching out with colleagues. *BIG BIG sigh* what i am to do… 

What if they stop asking me for lunch and i have no chance to redemn myself?
What if I’m super anti-social to them?
What if nobody likes meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

At least i have less explaining to do once the 40 days fast comes in. But then again, there are so many Christians in the company that they’ll probably know where I’m coming from…

Sigh… i felt as if i’ve just shot myself in the foot. But why am i feeling so upset over something so small.. Especially since I’ve never had the need to have to have friends in the workplace. It’s just that….. maybe because someone actually pointed it out that’s why it stinged. Or maybe it’s just a carry on from what happened yesterday.. The feeling of small (ness) and out of place (ness)…

arghhhh Goodness! I just amaze myself sometimes.