A few random updates

I”m amazed! i still have visits to my blog even though i haven’t been updating for the longest time..

Well.. that’s because there’s nothing much to update about especially since it’s the working life and there’s nothing really interesting about working everyday. But there have been much changes around. People going and people coming, my job scope being re-defined, and the one hundred other things that are happening at the same time. I haven’t decided whether the job scope re-definition it’s a good thing or not so i shall just wait before i give official comments. For behind the scenes, at the moment feelings, you can ask me personally.

Recently, I’ve been thinking… since i have nothing to do at home, i might as well just stay in the office to finish up my work. So I’ve also been staying back late in the office.. like 7pm, 8pm, 9pm late and reaching office earlier than usual on my own accord, unless i have events to attend after work… And i’m ok with it. I DON’T WANT to be ok with it. This is SO unhealthy. Don’t i have better things to do then finish up my work in the office?

My mp3 is repeating “5 loaves and 2 fishes” for the last… half an hour? It’s THE song for now.

I’M GOING TO PERTH! which is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened this year! I can’t wait for it! I need the break, need the fresh new air that I’m going to breath there. But that’s only going to happen 2 months from now, though i talk about it like it’s going to happen next week. 

This post is so boring… i’m bored writing it and i’m bored reading it..

I need to make some cards.. make something.. do something… get my brain working again..

 

*blank*

Is there a reason why I can be working well (in fact, more than well) for a few weeks and suddenly i feel myself losing momentum and sinking deeper and deeper into dissatisfaction.

Is there a reason why i can be doing and doing and suddenly nothing seems to excite me anymore. I get discontented and everything just fades off into a grey.

Suddenly i don’t feel like doing anything or communicate with anybody at the work place. I don’t drag my feet into the office in the morning but i can’t wait to get out of work at 5.30. All i want to do is to be in a cold aircon room, wear a snug cardigan and bury my head in endless sleep. I think that attitude is evident in my work performance. That’s bad. But I just can’t get myself out of it. It’s a whole stretch of nothingness in the vast yellow sand.

I keep seeking something higher, something more. But i never know whether that dissatisfaction is holy and godly or just a pure complain-y spirit. I seem to be seeking but not knowing what i seek anymore.

I’m too young to be feeling like this. I should be stirred and passionate and motivated. And just burning with excitement and passion with bright hopes, dreams and expectations for the future. How did i EVER come to this stage.

For some strange reason.. i just want to play my guitar and sing. In recent times, i’ve been spotted to randomly start singing. It happened in TL during lectures where i just HAVE to sing the song that is in my head. It happens during meeting when people are engrossed in their discussion and i wander off in my head and the next thing i know everybody’s looking at me because I’m singing a song. It happens during lunch. And now it’s happening at work. I do like the feeling of that though. So i shall not try to stop it.

OOH i just remembered. Usually I would tell my sis about it but since she’s still on the plane to France and uncontactable. I would have to suffice with blogging. I was changing in my room today when SUDDENLY this HUGE lizard landed on the floor. It sounded like a glob of jelly landed SPLAT.. just like that. Followed by a “AH!”. that’s from me. And the lizard scampered up this storage thing that we have. So i left it as that. There’s no point in this, this information is only useful to my sis who lives in the same house and room.

The lizards in my house are huge because they have an unlimited supply of juicy insects to eat. There are probably generations of mosquitoes in my house. Just yesterday after one visit to the toilet, i killed a fat mosquito bursting with blood in my toilet (that’s probably the female, cos the females are the one that suck blood and etc.) then i killed another mosquito.. this one has no blood but it was big. Then later! I killed a small mosquito.. I think they belong to the same family and were going to have a feast on MY blood. See the sumptuous buffet that lizards have when they stay in my house.. They probably invite their whole clan to come feast together.

My body hates work. It breaks down ever so often these days..

It’s only 11.30am!

 

Another Card sold

It is NICE selling items I make, although my stock just keeps growing because my customers tend to want customised cards instead of cards that I’ve pre-made. Hmm.. I guess that’s my selling point..

Maybe i shall sell these unsold cards at a fund raising event or something..

Did i mentioned that this week have been SHIOKwith a capital S, H, I, O and K just lazing around, relaxing at home. Catching up on sleep and things set aside due to the busy work schedule and a tired mind. Yes, a much needed break indeed. I don’t deny that all of these is in God’s perfect timing. So for all the busy ones out there who crave for a break, you should have a wisdom tooth operation! And all the dentists say Yay..
But of course.. an idle mind is the devil’s playground. We humans are crazy.. Everything also cannot. It’s a wonder God doesn’t fling his arms into the air in frustration. And that’s why He’s such a good God.
God help me.

It’s driving class tomorrow, i hope the drowsiness of the painkillers doesn’t kick in when I’m maneuvering the car… People in Ubi look out! Haha or i might skip taking the painkillers tomorrow. Well, i AM in control of a machine that can potentially kill other people and myself.

And i’m really too young to die. I’ve come to realise that.. it is really a blessing to just be alive.. how easily we take things for granted.

 

5 Days MC

In answer to my prayers for more rest, God gave me at least 5 days MC to be legimately absent from work for about a week.

Ok, what happened was that i went to the dentist yesterday, the one near victor’s house and wanted to ask him to come down and eat hokkien mee but i ended up being quite late so i didn’t, but i realise today that he ate dinner late too. So i should have just asked him out for dinner -_-”’

ANYWAY, i went to the dentist and waited for an hour +++ for the dentist! But i forgive him, cos he’s said thank you for waiting and was very nice to me. So i told him what’s wrong and his initial diagnosis was that it was my wisdom tooth giving me problems. Later he took an x-ray for me.. that was interesting! So i got to see how my left 2 molar teeth look like. And i’m proud to say that it looks healthy enough. No decay thank God! But there was just a wisdom tooth hiding in the corner and creating this little hole thing that makes food drop inside so i easily get inflammation and infection and decay and what not. Anyway according to the doctor, the long term solution is to get rid of the wisdom tooth by paying 500-800 bucks. SO for the time being, he gave me medicine for the inflammation, and it’s better now, as least not aching that much.

And at this point, Victor would disagree, because i was whining away to him on the way home from church today. Because at that time, it was SUPER achy. So i kept harping on the fact that my cheeks were swollen and i wanted to put my finger in to rub the area. He suggested biting some chewy sweet, but i didn’t have one on hand. So when he bought bubble tea, guess who stole a sip here and there. I was so excited that the pearls and coolness of the drink help soothe some of the achy-ness.

So I should be going for the op… though I need to find out from my boss when would be the best time to take it. So for all those who planned something with me in the next 2 weeks. I’m sorry, but it gotta wait till after I’ve recovered from the surgery.

Anyway, i’m quite excited about it! Partly cos of the MC.. 5 days off leh! where to get? But my dad was concerned that it might affect my performance since i’m undergoing probation. hrmph.. but no choice right. the wisdom tooth has just gotta go. And It’s a new experience… and…. well.. the dentist quite good looking.. one always needs some good motivation to go to the dentist.. besides the usual if you don’t go ah….blah blah blah..

 

Colour Challenge #4 – i love you

In light of valentine’s day, i just have to create some lovey dovey cards even if the colour combination isn’t the most conventional “love” colour. Wellllll true love comes in many different colours and forms what!!! haha

And of course… also selling it…. at the usual place…

I think my gums have been inflammed. Cos gums at my left bottom wisdom tooth is swollen and red and VERY achy. And it’s affecting my cheeks! Cos it’s swollen. And for the time being, i can’t chew anything there. So my right side teeth are getting tired from all that extra chewing. I think i need to see a dentist…

I don’t know if there’s any link, but my left ear has been perpetually blocked ever since i woke up with that inflammed gum.

Another mass interview today left me soooo tired. It’s the feeling that you get after you come back from a hectic youth camp that you just organised. So yeah. Extra tired this week, plus it’s going to be a early, long day tomorrow. So God, need your strength even more in the next week as i trudge through it without a good weekend’s rest.

And thanks othniel! for being so enthu about my card thingy. and making this.. i dunno what thing so that he can effectively advertise for me. THANK YOU!

 

WE’RE ON TV!!

haha ok la.. not we.. but our favourite Jalan Pemimpin, Tat Lee building is on TV.

I was (very unproductively) watching the repeat of 一切完美 on channel u. And it was showing this girl committing suicide. She was walking up this very familiar painted green metal steps with orange hand rails. and straight away i was thinking WAH THIS IS JALAN PEMIMPIN! How can i not recognise it after seeing it for almost 6 years, every week! I could even almost smell the familiar ice cream waffle biscuit smell leh. (do you know that if the wind blows in the right direction, there’s this smell of waffle that the $1 ice cream uncle will use to wrap the ice cream) Pearle will understand when i say that’s our frequent crying spot. haha when we were younger la.

AND THEN, ok back to the show, she walked up to the roof to jump down! and i was thinking. wah even the rooftop holds a lot of memories too. i remember going up there to have heart to heart talks, worshipping there, changing guitar string in the midst of no lights leh.. because it was at night and one of the strings suddenly burst.  All those buildings around i can remember, especially the brown colour one, coming out of no where.

haha ok just a random post in remembrance of jalan pemimpin.

 

Blessing of Non-sickness

If we’re not sick, we won’t remember how blessed it is to be healthy.

I was feeling a little unwell yesterday before I went for Wednesday service yesterday, but i went anyway and got home quite late. So today it actually blew up, i was in school till about 330pm and I was feeling so bad. I had a bad headache, fever and achy muscles. I add medicine all throughout the day but no use. I wanted so much to be better cos I wanted to go school tomorrow! I manage to make my way home, i was groggy and just pure tired.

ok.. long story short, i didn’t get better. My dad brought me to the doc. I was having a fever of 39.4 degrees. And the doctor was saying.. that’s quite high ah. Then inside me i was thinking, wah crazy, going to reach 40 degrees already. i was feeling so warm, i thought my lips were going to suddenly burst out in flames. But i ate dinner (no taste one) and my medicine and i perspire. And i’m feeling soooooooooo much better! no achy muscles at least. that’s the worse.

I’m like so happy i’m feeling better. When i’m not sick, sometimes i want to be sick, so that at least got excuse to rest. But then when I’m really sick, like fever sick, it’s so xing ku. Then when i feel better, ah i feel so blessed.

 

Frustrations…

I woke up today and everything seem to have one objective. Frustrate Ruoling..

1) The sun was shining directly at the seat i was going to sit

2) I got to print chords, and my printer just DIDN’T work.. obviously i attributed it to the brand.. bad expriences ah.. but ended up realising that it was because my printer was NOT connected to my computer at all! -_-” after it was connected, i must say it worked very well..

3) My house desktop just keeps hanging..

4) the internet connection decides to breakdown (for a few minutes that is) because it’s working fine again.

5) ok la. there’s no more 5 unless you count HOT, HUMID weather as one of them.

I… am frustrated.. but now i’m ok liao. My dad cook nice food for us. And a frustrated email is still sitting as a draft in my gmail. So i’m glad i didn’t send it out. And blogging about it at least… in a way.. help me vent my anger on something. All in all, i think my parents got the worse end of the deal. Because they were just sitting a few steps away from me when all of these happened. Especially my mom.. haha

 

For Ruth

Because Ms Ruth Fong Liling requested for me to update my blog (which she also didn’t), I have decided to do so.

Er..

hmm…

Ah…

okay…

I’m lost for words… (with all to say.. Lord you take my breath away)

okay! this is really not working.. *thinks for another 3 minutes*

Stone…

ah.. i’m so sleepy..

oh! Today i was having worship practise with Uncle Joshua’s team for next Sunday. And erm.. it’s very different from youth. We so sheltered there. We start, and we flow with Mr Joshua, and then we just tweak things from there. Anyway, after the practise, i bumped into him and he told me that on sunday when I’m serving, make that that i can hear myself. So.. it’s quite a weird thing to say, so i asked him why. So he said that something like I get drowned out by the other music because they are playing so loudly and yet i don’t go over to up my own volume. Aiyoh.. i was very touched. I didn’t expect him to notice such small stuff you know.

But that nice gesture aside, I don’t like upping my volume that much, because it risk the chances that the other musicians might not hear themselves, and they’ll up their volume some more. So the whole place end up being one with a few self-absorbed musicians playing hard on their instruments so that they can be heard. But at least i’m comforted to know the fact that I’ll still be able to be heard in the house because those are controlled at the sound booth about 300 m away from the team.

I reached church at about 825am today. And sat at the projection seat, praying and going through the songs. The worship team haven’t started practising yet. Uncle David was playing some jazzy tune on the keyboard. Wah. the ambiance quite nice leh.

I’m coming into my last week of work. Which I was actually looking forward to, but because of the demands of life and something called “Saving for a rainy day” and the fact that i’m 22 already and financial concerns are more than just having money to last me throughout the month. I’m thinking of continuing part time in the company. But i haven’t ultimately decided yet although if I’m giving the chance, i would most likely take up the job. The only catch is that, they have already found a replacement for me….. =X so i don’t know how they’re going to solve this problem if I choose to stay on. It’s all in God’s plan la. So.. I’ll just trust and walk on.

It’s sewing class day tomorrow one of the highlights of the week ok!

Gabriel! In the end, you never tell me what you want to tell me lor! i told you to tell me already right, and not to always leave it to the end of service! You better faster tell me!

 

Happy birthday to me (again)

Today seemed like a long day. But i’m home already, bathe, relaxed with clean and clear nose patch thingy on me. I’m waiting for it to dry with anticipation that it would extract all blackheads! It’s not as good as i would like it to be, but nonetheless, even if it pulls out ONE blackhead it’s good. Better to have 99 blackheads than 100 right? ya!

Anyway! for the past 2 nights and tonight was birthday celebration for me! Yesterday with my family, we had steamboat. Was very 温心。And i liked it alot, before we actually ate, my parents and sis actually sang birthday song for me. Was surprised at that act. And then, today Ms Mary Sim, Wilfred and Joy came to celebrate for me too. Gave me a very nice cake (Mary say bigger than what Pearle got for me ) It has my name on it too! nice ah! And while we were chit-chatting, we saw Uncle Joshua and his wife having time alone with each other. Soooooooo sweet!

Oh ya, i so need to say this. My sis bought vouchers from MWL for me. (if you have read her blog you would have known) THANK YOU! i haven’t said thank you to her you know? So i need to proclaim my thanks to her here. Haha. I think i’m going to buy a stamp set!! Cos it’s usually so expensive that i can’t bear to fork out money to pay for it. So now, Sim mei mei got vouchers for me, it’s like a totally valid excuse to go shop there lor! muahahha!

I bought a book today. Again. i have plenty of books to read now, so it’s time to stop buying and start reading. Praying that these books would impact and inspire and I would not just bombard myself with information and not act upon these knowledge.

A friend, now working in Prudential met up with me to talk about insurance and retirement plan. 55 years old seem very far away ah, but i realise the importance to plan financially la. Even if Jesus is coming back soon. Pray for Wisdom! Now that i’ve become an adult and started in the working world, there’s more to think and plan about other than exam studying schedule. And these plans affect my future and my family’s too.

Ok, it’s time to sleep and take off the nose patch and see how many blackheads are pulled up with it!!!!!!!

[edit] yay! many many blackheads came out!